The stars can't hurt you now
by Wolflover2000
Summary: After a tough case they visit Toby's Mum...I am so sorry, but I suck at summaries ;)
1. Chapter 1

She didn't know how they were here, or why they were here, but she guessed it all started with the stars. The stars had led them to this bleached place filled with broken minds and moving bodies. The walls were to clean, void of even a spot of dirt, it's image burning into her tiles were smooth under her feet, and the gears settled in her mind were spinning in a million different directions. The people's stares following her every movement, to her breaths, making sure they were calm and collected. And to the sweaty palm in her hand and the conversation that had started this all. To the woman who happened to be standing by for a mission they didn't even want.

The case was long and slow, not really going anywhere, so they focused on the sky. She found herself facing old memories, the black ink slipping in, so she'd taken his hand as an anchor. Letting it hold her in wavering place. Holding on to his quiet voice fogging crisply into the chilled night air.

"You okay Hap?"

She allowed a breath, then a nod, and tried to to find the words hidden in the puzzle of her mind. "Just reminds me of certain things," she replied. Like loneliness perhaps, and wondering why people couldn't be like simple mechanics, why she couldn't change their formula and make them want her. The stars held a lot of those thoughts.

But then the case was moving again, and that left no time for her own dark thoughts. And somehow Happy found herself trying to console a hysterical woman, trying to explain to her that yes, they worked for the government, and yes, they were here to help. _Where are you Doc?,_ Happy half muttered, half thought to herself. _I really don't have the patience for this._

"Why don't I get my friend," The woman was doing slightly better now, but the Doc would handle the situation _much_ better. "He's, um, better with...people."

The woman nodded, wiping her eyes, "Sorry," she hiccuped, "I just get all emotional watching men with guns all around." Happy went for what she hoped was a comforting smile. Then there were the sounds of gunfire and the woman jumped. She rubbed her arms. "So...your friend…"

 _Yes,_ Happy thought, _let's focus on the idiot who probably got himself in the middle of a gun show._ "You guys are cops?"

Happy shook her head, "Government contractors, we're a part of Team Scorpion."

At that, the woman straightened, a cold curiosity crossing her features, her eyes feeling a bit unsettling. "Right, I heard about you on TV." Then, "Tobias works there too?" That last bit caught Happy by surprise, but she didn't let it show. The woman's focus wasn't on her anymore, but at the sky, probably lost in some deep crevice of her mind. Stars did that sometimes.

Now feeling suddenly aware of the person next to her, Happy folded her arms over her chest. "Do you know him?"

"That ungrateful child happens to be my nephew." There was an uncomfortable pause as she took a breath, "He didn't even go visit his mother when she was first taken in. He never visits, and I first I blamed his poor godawful father, but he's all Samatha ever talks about. I've even helped her write a few letters to that boy myself," she let out a choked sound, and took a deep swallow, "But he still never comes."

Happy didn't know what to do when catching the glimpse of Toby's past; she never did, the words just flowed through her, rushing past her thoughts, burying themselves deep for when she found herself alone. A voice then snapped her back to the present, "You two close?"

The question left Happy unsure, the topic of them still not quite clear for her. So she was falling for him, then what? What happens next? So she shrugged.

"Well, tell him his mother misses him," she managed a smile and handed Happy her phone, "Could you take a picture? Sam loves the stars but they hardly let her out anymore. And," she continued, her smile turning sheepish, like she almost wanted to apologize for the awkward exchange, "I'm not too great with technology."

Then the picture was taken, and Happy was left alone with herself and the stars. There was a comfort in their existence, but they also held secrets and conversations that Happy didn't want to be reminded of. Just as the sky was taking notice of her presence, the comm in her ear was reminded of its purpose.

"Happy, we need you back here, still got that gun?"

Making sure the firearm was still tucked securely in her waistband, Happy made her way over to the place of action. Taking notice of an open window in the warehouse, she grabbed a pipe screwed to the side of the building, testing its strength before she pulled herself up. With deep measured breaths, she climbed higher, feeling the bite of metal into her skin. When she was high enough, her foot found some leverage and she inched closer to the open glass window. Inside, their criminal's back was to her and he was holding Paige at gunpoint. Walter and Cabe were trying to talk him out of it, and for the briefest of moments she thought she saw Walter's eyes flicker up to meet hers.

The gun was warm against her back, waiting for her, but Happy didn't fully trust her shooting skills. Bracing her hands on the window sill, she studied the ceiling before finding what she needed. Smiling, Happy pushed out with her legs, reaching for the broken board jutting out waiting for her impact. Her hands stung with the force of her momentum, but she swung forward, making sure to yank down hard, and ended up landing behind the suspect with the shattered wood in her grasp.

He didn't even have time to turn around before the plank made contact with his skull, knocking him out. She looked up to see Paige furiously kicking the gun out of his limp hand, and Toby grinning at her in full force. Cabe nodded in approval, "The gun not enough action for you?" Happy just handed it back to him in response, and he turned to address the team. "Nice work, kids, we're all done here. Let's head home."

Back at the garage, everything was forgotten for the moment. They were all gathered on the roof, attempting what was a horrible rendition of a dance party. Happy couldn't hide her smile, as Sylvester tried to explain to her the 'right' way to dance. Not really doing much more than shuffling her feet and moving her arms a bit, Happy rolled her eyes, "Whatever Sly."

Her poor attempts at dancing were interrupted as the sudden loss of ground surprised her, throwing her into defense mode. Happy pulled a knee up, ready to land a good one, when she heard his laugh.

"What the hell Curtis!?" she exclaimed. Despite her protest, he gave them a little spin before setting her back down. That earned him a soft punch to the shoulder and a smile slipped through Happy's lips. "What was that for Doc? Warn me next time at least."

He smiled as she shook her head, "No." He spun her anyway.

"That was smooth, Curtis," Happy managed as soon as the world stopped spinning and gained a landing spot. He gave her a look, the one that still set her insides on fire, and Happy considered pulling him in for a kiss, catching him off guard. His face had taken on that certain childish quality, hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth, leaning forward ever so slightly, lips parted in thought.

Happy took a breath, fingers bracing for impact, but then he tipped a little too far, and landed on his back with a muffled thump, facing the sky. She filled the empty space beside him, and their hands found each other like magnets.

"Numbnuts."

Toby let out a slightly pained laugh, the sounds and the commotion of the people around them fading into the background. All that there was, was them; the stars filling in the spaces in between.

 _The stars._

The previous case and the blast from the past flooded back into Happy's consciousness. She wanted to mention it, she needed to, but she didn't know how. Then Toby was speaking, his voice taking on a sort of far off quality.

"My mom loved the stars," he said. There was a long pause, like he wanted to go on but didn't know how. This was the perfect opportunity...right? She wondered if the rest of the team took any notice of the two of them laying there on the rooftop, then decided not to care.

"I wonder how she's doing now," he continued. This time when he spoke, Happy thought she heard a slight waver, a small crack threatening to burst.

She squeezed his hand tighter, because she knew she wouldn't find the words to comfort him. She still didn't know quite what stage of the relationship thing they were at, and she'd never been good at emotional stuff.

Happy heard a quiet sigh, and turned to look up at him. She saw the reflection of the night sky in his eyes, and a wetness that wasn't there before.

He clasped to her hand tightly, running his thumb back and forth, like he needed something to hold onto, just as much as she did. One of the things that came with trusting that someone wouldn't hurt you, was trusting yourself that you wouldn't hurt them. That you could say anything, and wouldn't have to worry you were wrong. Or maybe she just wasn't used to Toby acting like everything she said was gold. Finally, she let it out, "I saw your aunt today, she, um, talked about your mom."

His thumb paused slightly in its course, but he didn't speak.

His silence prompted Happy to go on. He always tried to get her to open up, to let go, so why couldn't she do the same?

"Is she being cared for close by?" The words came out before she had even thought about what to say, and she mentally kicked herself.

Toby sat up, finding a better place to look at her, "What?"

Confusion had mixed with his shining eyes, "What? What did my Aunt...what did she say exactly?" The question made her defensive, her mind thinking of comebacks, but she reminded herself that not everything was an insult. Though that thought didn't change the feeling that she'd said something wrong.

"Nothing, all she talked about was your mom, and how she wished you'd visit." She topped it off with a shrug, feeling uncomfortable all over again with the whole conversation.

"Visit her?" Toby started loudly, then as if he remembered the team was there, he whispered, "Visit her? I don't even know where she is."

"You do realize you're friends with some of the smartest people in the world right? We could have found her for you."

Toby leaned back, letting out a small shaky laugh, "Yeah, but they told me not to, said I caused enough problems already."

Happy gave him a look, she was fairly sure that when he wanted something, Tobias M. Curtis never stopped. He failed, a lot, but he kept going. "And you listened to them?"

"I guess I forgot I don't give a damn what they think…" He grinned at her, "But thank you for reminding me," the grin didn't budge. "And if you're offering I do have an immeasurable amount of faith in your hacking abilities."

And all of this, had landed them here. Surrounded by blinding fluorescent lights, busy people, and cheap smiles. Toby had dragged her along, insisting that her "presence" would help. "You don't even have to speak," he persuaded. So she followed along, watching closely as his knees jumped around on the ride there, fingers tapping along to the rhythm of his body. She passed a few red lights to snap him out of it, but he didn't notice, hands tapping, knees jerking, mouth forming soundless words. At least that had all stopped when they reached inside, though her grabbing his hand may have contributed to that.

Surrounded by people, he seemed all calm and confident, in a very un-Toby like matter. She'd never seen him smile like that before.

A woman walked up, greeting them each with a firm handshake, "How may I help you two tonight?"

Maybe it was the lighting, or maybe Toby's brow was sweating in the slightest bit, "We're here to see Samantha Curtis." And maybe she was spending too much time with him, but Happy thought she caught an out of place swallow, an extra hard gulp to hide his fear, and push down his doubts.

When the woman walked away, Happy gave him a nudge, "You good?"

He returned it absentmindedly, "I'm always good, baby."

"Excuse me?" The nickname didn't faze her as much as the fact that he seemed completely out of it.

Toby blinked himself back into the present, "Oh, sorry, I think…" He started to shove his hands in his pockets before he realized that one was still holding hers. His arms were left hanging awkwardly between them, and Happy briefly wondered what the people around them were thinking about his weird jerky movements. "I might be slightly terrified right now."

The lost look in his eyes made Happy hate herself for not being able to think of a comforting response, and by then the nurse was returning with bright teeth and a slip of paper. "Your party is in room 216, there's a nurse waiting for you to brief you on her...condition." Her smile didn't waver through her pause, and she handed the hastily scribbled note with the room number to them, "Thank you."

"You do realize that you need to move, Room 216 isn't going to suddenly appear." He looked down at her,

"Right, don't freak out, everything is going to be okay. Don't go crazy Hap, we got this. Why is your hand so sweaty? It's going to be alright. Everything is...everything is going to be fine." As he rambled, his eyes were frantically searching her face, skipping between her eyes, her lips, and the hallway, his hand rapidly brushing across her forehead, trying to wipe away non existent hair strands. His fingers were tapping out patterns on her palm, _123...1234...12...123…_

"You're the one sweating like a river Doc, calm down." She took his other hand, the one resting under her hair, deciding on brushing a kiss of all things, across his knuckles, and he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and just like that, seemed to be back to normal.

"I wonder if she's going to remember me, considering how handsome and irresistible I've become," he joked, sending her a wink. Happy ignored it, and lead him through the halls, smiling softly as he muttered under his breath about all the improvements this place needed. Hospitality definitely wouldn't be on his list, since the nurse started waving them down before they could even read the lettering on the door.

"Are you the couple here for Ms Curtis?" The nurse wiped her hands on her pants before picking up a clipboard. "I just need your names, we like to keep account of all our visitors for our...special patients." Her tone was considerably less fake than the first nurse, but she faltered on her words. Probably afraid she would offend someone.

"Happy Quinn."

The nurse nodded, smiling as she scribbled it down, "I guess we have something in common Ms Quinn, my parents had a strange sense of humor," she looked up like she was telling the punchline of a joke, "they named me Joy."

 _Not that strange_ , Happy thought, as Joy smiled at Toby as he introduced himself, "Tobias M. Curtis."

"Oh, so there's more of you!" She waved a free hand around as she wrote, "grandson, nephew?"

"Son," Toby cut in quickly, "She's my...I'm her son."

"Oh," There was a subtle shift in tone, and Joy's pen stopped moving, "I wasn't aware she had any living children." Then she smiled up at him, the air warming, refusing to let this situation became awkward. "You two go right in, I'll be nearby if you need me."

"Thanks, Joy. I think we'll be okay," Happy replied.

Toby took a shuddering breath. He stepped forward and reached out a shaking hand to open the door. Happy grabbed his wrist before he touched the handle. "You...you don't have to do this." She looked up at him, trying to gauge just how freaked out he was. She could almost understand how he felt, trying to reconnect with a parent after more than 20 years. But Patrick didn't have any mental illness, unlike Samantha.

He rolled his shoulders back as he entered Room 216, and gripped Happy's hand even tighter.

When they walked inside, the room had the same feel as everything else. Too clean, too white, and nothing to prove that a human being lived here. Well, except for the desk wedged in a corner, littered with various different sizes of paper. Toby's aunt's words were knocking on her brain, but she locked them out. Happy didn't recognize the woman in the chair, but she could make out the resemblances. Her hair was a bit darker than Toby's, but it looked the same texture, and was pulled back to reveal ears similar to his. They even had the same nose and cheekbones.

Toby took a seat in front of this normal seeming woman, letting go of Happy's hand as she hung back. Even standing close to him felt too intimate a gesture in this situation.

"Ms. Curtis?" He asked as his voice took on the 'shrink' tone. Her hands were glued to eachother, one arm covered with a white cloth, and they loosened a bit as she looked up at him, eyes foggy and confused.

Happy took a step forward, afraid this whole thing would be going south, but then Toby smiled softly. He was looking at his mother the same way Happy caught him looking at her, soft and timid, wary as if training a strong spirited stallion. "I'm a doctor, is it okay if I talk to you a bit?"

After that, she smiled, eyes growing brighter and twinkling, reminding Happy of Toby's eyes when he was trying to tease her. "Did the last one find me too crazy?"

Toby kept smiling, nothing seeming forced or fake, "They're still with you, but I'm here today. Is that okay?"

She nodded, stringy hair falling in her face. She seemed distracted by something, her hands coming undone and she lifted a finger up. Her fingernails were dirty, but Happy couldn't tell with what. She could only watch as the finger landed on Toby's hat, and pretended not to notice the way he leaned into his mother's touch, like a child deprived of affection for too long.

"Are you fond of hats doctor?" No answer. She kept talking, smiling. Toby's smile had left with the presence of her touch. "My son has me make paper hats. It's a focusing exercise." More smiling, "He wants to be a doctor. When we get more money I'm going to buy him his own books." Toby didn't move, didn't twitch, just blinked. His mother kept going, "I think he may have read the whole library by now." Then her smile faded, eyes moistening. "Have you seen him? He left for school and hasn't come back. It's almost dinner time, and Michael is still out taking care of his horses."

Still not saying a word, Toby took her wrist gently. Softly, he turned it over to reveal the red bleeding through the white fabric. Her hands went instinctively to her arm, rubbing vigorously. "How are you today?" He was finally speaking, but it sounding as it was coming from somewhere else. "What happened?"

His mom looked around, confused, hand coming up to tug at her hair. She started laughing. "I don't know, I don't know." Toby was staring again, looking like a zombie as his mother kept pulling at her hair with blood crusted fingernails. "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know." Her sobbing laughter set Happy on edge, and all of them were stuck staring. At red fingertips, hysterical women, and zombies that were still as stone. Staring, staring, staring. She knew conditions were bad, but she wasn't expecting this.


	2. Chapter 2

She had managed to pull him away. She didn't know how, but she did, and stripped free from that place he seemed almost normal again. They drove home with the usual banter and Toby even insisted on making dinner. But even though everything was falling into its regular pattern again, Happy still found herself bringing up the question left in her mind. The sounds of food cooking and pots banging were crashing into a deafening chaos in her head, but she didn't want to ruin this false sense of normality. The words still forced themselves to go tumbling out of her mouth.

"What happened back there, Doc? That felt like a lot more than a simple bipolar problem."

Toby acted like what she'd said had less weight than what she felt was crushing down on her. "Brain trauma," he explained, more focused on filling their plates than on her.

"What happened?" Happy asked, as he sat down in front of her, handing Happy her plate, the food warm and daunting.

"She...fell." The pause was small, brief, but it was there, letting on that he wasn't telling everything. But she had finally got him back, Toby was acting pretty much normal, and Happy didn't really know how to continue this conversation. So she didn't press.

Happy shoved a spoonful of dinner into her mouth, letting its taste overwhelm the darkness trying to settle over the room, "Where'd you learn to cook like this, Doc?" she joked.

Toby shrugged nonchalantly, "Well, when you grow up thinking the dumpster serves 5 star meals, and with nobody to cook for you, you come to appreciate home-burned food." Happy's hand stalled halfway to her mouth, memories of dirty dumpsters and stale moldy dinners coming back to her. She blinked the thoughts away, and realized that Toby was speaking again, "Finally learned how to actually cook after I almost burned the house down...hey, are you okay?"

She felt herself nod, but her thoughts were overpowering her senses, and her whole body was underwater, moving at a sluggish pace. She could almost smell the rotting garbage, she could taste it, and there was nothing she could do to blot it out. It was all coming in too strong, her thoughts tied a noose around her neck, cutting off her breath, pushing down to hard on her chest. Everything was crashing down at too fast a pace and Happy felt she was being crushed with nothing to stop her. Her vision blurred, and was replaced with darker things.

Black nights in harsh alleys, the stars twinkling down at her, laughing. Happy forced herself to think of the nicer things of the memories, she could fight this, she _would_ fight this. If she could just... _focus. Focus_ on the fresh air, so different from the staleness of her current ever changing homes. _Focus_ on the friday nights when warm food would be waiting from that one chef who had taken pity on her. _Focus_ on the warm pressure on her hand that she hadn't noticed was there before.

Everything was fighting against each other, trying to gain the spotlight, and the noise was a roaring river rushing through her ears. Even so, the contrast of Toby's soft voice slipped through to her. She still couldn't see straight, she still couldn't breathe, but she could feel his touch and the calming sound of his voice acting like an anchor.

"Hey Hap, can you hear me? I know it sounds tough, but you need to take deep breaths."

She was slightly aware of the fact that her hand was being guided upwards, his voice running smoothly out to her. Her palm was soon pressed against something solid, something drumming in rhythm underneath her splayed out fingers.

"Hear my voice?"

She did, and it was melting into the night sky, "Feel my heartbeat? Focus on that, breathe to that, okay?"

She had enough control now to nod, and Happy tried to concentrate on the vibration of his words, the beating of his heart. She breathed in, letting her breath out to the rhythm of his body. This seemed to span on forever, but finally the fog lifted and her thoughts surrendered. Happy hadn't realized she'd been squeezing her eyes tightly shut, and when she opened them Toby had both his hands holding hers in place, his face filled with a purpose and looked that felt like she was the only thing he was seeing. She didn't move for a few moments, letting the lights of the apartment wash the night away.

"Hey," she finally looked into his eyes, "You're okay." His hands slid up her arms to pull her close, and she could feel his fingers leaving a soothing warmth on her skin.

"You're okay." Toby repeated, voice cracking and causing her to wonder who he was trying to convince. Happy considered pulling away - maybe they could go on acting like everything was alright - but she found herself staying in the security of his embrace. It felt warm, it was safe. She regained some of her composure at the soft touch of his lips on her forehead and hands in her hair. There was serenity in the familiar feather-like pressure of him.

"Movie?" He asked, the question a typical ending to these sorts of ordeals.

Happy nodded against his chest, welcoming any distraction to stop her from thinking about her past. It was an excuse to pretend this hadn't happened, an opportunity for her to escape from retelling the same story over and over again. He made a move to get up, pressing another kiss to her forehead before shifting himself away from her, but Happy held him tight. After allowing a brief moment to breathe, she met his eyes, "What kind of movie?"

Toby shrugged a little too casually, "I don't know, I think there was a documentary on brain function that looked interesting," he shrugged again, "But whatever you want, princess." She hit his shoulder, and he grinned like he was expecting it. "Documentary?"

"Fine." A documentary usually meant that they wouldn't be paying much attention to the screen, more on each other, and the thought relaxed Happy a bit. This day deserved to be filed away somewhere where they could forget it. Toby made a big show of stretching for the remote; his fingers barely grazed it enough to grasp it. When he successfully gripped in his hand he grinned at her.

"See that flexibility? I've got skills."

Happy raised an eyebrow before swiping the device from him, "Do you really want me to get started on skills?" she challenged. He put on his best, most sincere puppy eyes, looking slightly ridiculous as he took her free hand with an over exaggerated formality.

"You are a beautiful, talented goddess," he proclaimed softly, eyes twinkling, "Now can I have the remote?"

She handed it to him, and he lept onto the couch with all the enthusiasm of a child at Christmas. She climbed up beside him, throwing her legs over his lap as he excitedly turned on the TV. She was just getting comfortable when Toby turned with a mischievous look across his features, "Netflix," he started as he scooted closer, nudging her shoulder, "and chill?"

Happy faced his amused raised eyebrow with a look of distaste, "You have some major issues Doc."

He threw an arm across her shoulder and squeezed her in response, "But you like me anyway," another squeeze, "A lot, I might add."

"Get over yourself," she laughed, pushing him away from her. Toby caught her wrist, pulling it up to brush a quick kiss across her knuckles.

"Yes ma'am," he stated as he turned on the movie. Happy settled herself on his lap, ready to move on and leave the weight of the day behind them, but Toby was staring intensely at the screen. He still rubbed out patterns onto her skin, tracing encrypted messages throughout her body, he still rested his head on her shoulder, but his focus wasn't really _on_ her.

Happy tried to pay attention to the bright colors on the TV, but it held nothing of interest. Just people and more uninteresting people. A few flashing diagrams and complicated speeches later, she soon found herself falling asleep. There was a hazy memory of being carried to bed, but it was washed out by exhaustion.

Her dreams were cold and empty, dark and overpowering. Just when loneliness was beginning to creep in on her, Happy woke to Toby beside her, playing with her hair while reading a book. He didn't seem to notice she was awake, and she lay there for a minute, taking comfort in the way his gentle fingers delicately worked through her tangles.

"Hey Hap," he finally said through the silence. She let out a sleepy 'hey' in response, pushing herself up beside him and resting her head safely in the crook of his neck. She pressed a soft kiss into his skin, his warmth spreading through her, and took a closer look at his book. She didn't recognize it, and it seemed slightly less damaged than all his other reading material.

"Can't sleep?" She asked with a flip of the page. He nodded. "Just some late night reading."

"This one looks new." And even though she could admit to herself that figuring out emotions and reading people wasn't her thing, Happy felt something off; something slightly different with the way he was acting. She wrapped one of his arms around her waist and threaded her fingers through his, holding on tightly. "Does it have to do with what you were watching?" she prompted slowly.

"Just a new topic I haven't explored yet," he told her as he pressed a kiss through her hair, and Happy couldn't tell if she felt it or not, the touch wasn't cold, but it held none of the usual subtle electricity.

"I'm okay," he whispered before pulling away, "Okay?"

Happy didn't say anything in response, but her grip on him loosened slightly. Finally he set the book aside and turned off the light. She felt his weight shift against her, and the pressure of his arms wrapped around her waist. "Let's go to sleep. Everything is fine."

The words ran circles around her head, and she almost believed it. Everything would be fine. It was just another instance of her hardwiring engineered from too many false promises, causing her to read too much into things. They always turned out okay in the end. She waited until his breathing slowed and evened out before allowing her mind to rest.

Notes: This is just a filler chapter, but I hope you all enjoyed, and comments are much appreciated :)


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